You may feel devastated during a breakup with a loved one and may desire to get back into the relationship. However, this relationship can be restored.

Foremost, find out the actual cause behind the breakup. Be very honest with yourself and determine if both of you, or if one of you is responsible for your separation. Your breakup may be due to extreme arguing and fighting, constant physical and sexual involvement, conflicting goals and values, abuse suffered by one of you, pressures of long-distance relationship, or poor combination of personalities.

The next thing to do is to find out the reason why you want your relationship back. Do you want your ex-lover to return to you because you really loved that person? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a partner. If both of you really loved, respected each other, and are happy being together, restoring your relationship may be a good idea. But if both of you have irreconcilable differences that have caused so much stress in your personal lives, it is better for you to remain separated. Take some time to think about these matters.

If you have decided to woo back your ex-lover, try to find out if he/she is currently dating someone. If that person is unattached, try to develop your friendship. However, you should do this gradually and carefully because that person may harbor some ill feelings to you. If you feel that you have regained your amity, you can invite him/her to sporting events, parties, or even strolling with friends.

Restoring your self-esteem is crucial during this period. Try to overcome the hurts caused by the breakup. Learn from this experience and develop a positive perspective in life. You may need to engage in social activities to divert your attention from the pain of separation.

If you already feel comfortable in talking with your former flame, you can invite him/her to talk to you in restoring your past relationship. This may be a time to settle your differences. Open the matter to him/her in an honest but polite way. Apologize if you have made mistakes. Listen and accept his/her your point of view regarding the issue. Be patient and take some time to allow that person in making a decision.

If he/she is no longer interested of recommitment, respect their decision. Give him/her the freedom of choice even if it disappoints you. Move on with your life.

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