This scenario is not the stuff of fairy tales: you strike up an interesting conversation with someone via internet dating, go out a few times, think each other is fabulous and then bam! he or she is suddenly leaving a toothbrush at your place and telling you they were “worried” because they didn’t hear from you the night before.

Um, excuse me? Yeah, not the stuff of fairy tales but, sadly, very much the stuff of real life. So what to do when the person you’re into is moving too fast? You want to slow things down, but not call things off. That’s a hard dance to dance, friends, but it’s completely possible. Read on:

1. Stop biting your tongue

I admit, this one is rather obvious. Just come right out with it. Unfortunately, it seems that most people I know would rather have root canal without the benefit of anesthetic than confront this problem, or any other, head on.

You need to stop and consider the possibility that your latest amour is simply so smitten with you and excited about future prospects that they just got carried away. Flattering to think about right? Okay, back to reality. Take a deep breath and just tell them that they’re moving too fast for your liking. He or she should quickly realize that the two of you aren’t even on the same book, let alone the same page.

2. Stop being so available

No matter how they feel about their space being encroached upon, some people just go along with the advanced relationship speed being set by the other person. They’re trying to be nice about it because they’re really quite into this person.

In some burgeoning relationships we’re really into the person we’re dating and we choose to ignore, at least for now, that the actual relationship is not compatible with our lifestyle and totally exceeds our comfort levels.

In order to slow things down to the point of comfort, you need to make yourself only as available as you are, no exceptions. That means if you have to work early tomorrow tell them you can’t see them the night before.

Putting some distance between the two of you means no letting him or her tag along when you go out with friends. Soften the blow by telling them that this is something that in the future will be something you can do, but right now you just want to let things progress in private.

When the speed demon you’re dating makes noises about that dresser drawer or the key to your front door, and you’d rather not take that step just yet, think of a smaller step that you can take. Few of us are blessed with being a smooth talker, so offering an alternative instead of a rejection will definitely lessen the blow. Repeat step one if necessary.

This article was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of professional dating articles.