conflict resolution


Since the beginning of time it seems that men and women have had their difference in perspective and perception. The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is not at all a new concept. And it seems that no matter how hard anyone tries, men can’t seem to help but annoy, enrage, anger, upset, or piss off their women. As the saying goes, “Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned.” So if you have recently made your wife, fianc, or girlfriend mad, the following are some actions you should take to get yourself out of the dog house!

1. Send Her Flowers. Flowers are not a quick fix but they are a great place to begin working your way back to the front door of your lady’s heart. This trick works especially well if she is not speaking to you at the moment. Send her a beautiful arrangement of flowers to her job with a note that expresses your sincerest apologies. Not only will the note thrill her, but the public display will make her the envy of all of her co-workers which will make her extremely happy.

2. Get Her Jewelry. Women love jewelry no matter where they are from or what their likes are. It doesn’t matter what kind of jewelry you buy her, of course real is always better, she will love you for it. But remember, jewelry is not a permanent fix. It is just a way to get back into her heart so that you can freely discuss the underlying issues that the two of you are having. Don’t expect for her to be satisfied once you give her a diamond.

3. Cater to Her For A Day. Women spend a lot of time catering to the men in their lives so spend a day catering to your lady. Don’t pay for her to go to the spa. Instead, create a spa atmosphere for her right at home, and spend an entire day being her personal masseuse, manicurist, pedicurist, facial specialist, and more. Cook a special meal for her, light candles in the bathroom and draw a nice bath. Let her know that her wish is your command and that you will be more than happy to do anything she asks you to.

4. Surprise Her With A Trip. Women love surprises and this is one she is sure to never forget. Plan a weekend getaway for you and your honey. Make sure that you have her clear a weekend in advance to make sure that she has nothing else to do. Get her mother, sister or best friend to pack her bags for her and pick her up after work on a Friday afternoon. Drive to the airport and she will be so surprised. But don’t tell her where you’re going until she sees it for herself at the terminal gate. She will not only be more open and receptive to what you have to say, but she will be very happy too.

5. Give Her Something She’s Always Wanted. Women often talk about things that they want but have never gotten. If you’re lady has ever done this, then it’s your job to make her dream come true. Bottom line, get back into your woman’s heart and you will have the tools you need to not only resolve your issues, but to get out of the dog house too!

Sheila Dollarsby and her husband do their fair share of disagreeing. When he is really sorry though he will usually order an arrangement of flowers from 1800 Flowers. He does not use the flowers from 1800 Flowers as a way to solve problems, but simply as a way to apologize and open the door to healthy communication and conflict resolution.

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In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently. If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people’s ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Many marriages have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren’t married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.

There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoidedintimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.

What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.

Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.

Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren’t anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.

When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why the react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.